We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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