from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
