flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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