Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
