he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
