She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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