would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
