LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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