She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
