Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
