I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
home. puking in laundry basket.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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