He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
