I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
