you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
