I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
