too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
