Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
