Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
