i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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