dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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