apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
