What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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