you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
