we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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