I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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