I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
