Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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