margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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