omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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