Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
