none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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