I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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