She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
