Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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