OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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