She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
