He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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