yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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