I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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