she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
