Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
