My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
