I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I will pee on everything he values.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
