Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
