Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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