Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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