He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
