Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
