it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
