last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
