Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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